Originally posted January 2017. Fortunately, our Chiefs team has celebrated 2 Super Bowls since then!
Last night our team was knocked out of the playoffs. The Kansas City Chiefs lost to a very physical and talented Pittsburgh Steelers team. A season of hard work came to an end, short of the championship.
What a great season though. Years ago, something like this would have upset me. Fortunately, I’ve matured through the years. It’s true!
I didn’t realize this until I made the mistake of looking at social media and post game comments following the game. I wasn’t surprised at what I saw, but started thinking how far off we are from what sports should be about. These fans and players are actually supposed to be adults? No wonder some kids have a me first, complain about everything mentality…trust me, they learn it from somewhere.
Soon my 5 year old is going to wake up and I’d put money on his first comment of the day being about the game and asking if the Chiefs won. He’s going to be upset – partly because they are not the “best team in the world” as he likes to call it, but also because he won’t see them again until August (8 months when you’ve only been alive a little over 60 months is a long time!).
As a 5 year old, he gets a break. As adults, we don’t. The weird thing about sports is that they have a fanatical following from people that, for at least a few hours a week (likely much more), get an excuse to act like children while they watch a children’s game. Yes, it’s a game – the same game that many of us on the playground said we would play for free, just for the love of the game. For the record, I’m pretty sure I had some 3rd grade recess teams that could have beat the Browns this year, but that’s not the point. The point is the world misses the beauty of sports; the camaraderie among teammates, the drive to push yourself to be your best – not to thump your chest, but to have a real moment of satisfaction, knowing you gave your absolute best – the competition, the gathering of family and friends to simply enjoy time together. Sports can be great! They can also get twisted to the point where we start rewarding people acting like idiots either on the field or off the field.
As dads, and as those most guilty of setting the bar for idiocy (both in sports and the everyday!), it’s our job to lead by example. We have an opportunity to use sports to help facilitate life lessons. Help facilitate. Sports aren’t life. They are one of many ways we can enjoy life and use to build lifelong characteristics we want to instill in our kids.
First things first
Look at 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
“Don’t you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything. However, they do it to receive a crown that will fade away, but we a crown that will never fade away. Therefore I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified.”
Paul provides a good reminder – our first goal is to seek God and the crown (trophy) that will never go away.
If God and His Kingdom are the championship, life is our season. The highs and lows of our lives are the games (you win some,you lose some). The everyday is our practice. Serious athletes use every opportunity to improve – as parents with a desire to raise champions, we should too.
So, in true sports fashion, here’s my top 5 countdown life lessons, learned through sports.
5. Disappointment and Celebration
Even if the only sports you’ve ever watched are the final 30 seconds of a match, you’ve seen it. One team is crazy happy, celebrating the victory, the other is upset, heads in their hands, thinking how it could have happened that way.
That’s life. Our kids are going to have their share of success, they will also have more than they want of disappointment. As parent’s we can teach kids to improve and grow as a result of disappointment and to be humble through our success.
4. Competition
Unfortunately, the natural joy of competition is lost nowadays. I love competition – the chance to compete against others or in an “against all odds” challenge can be rewarding. Not because you want to destroy the other team or put the person at work in their place, but the reward you get from working so hard for something and doing your best.
In an everybody wins culture, it’s more important than ever to instill healthy competition. It does not have to be (and should not be) in your face, thumping your chest, riding a fake horse in the end zone type competition. Appreciation for each others desire to play to their best ability is the goal.
3. Drive
Sports are a great way to hone skills through hard work, sacrifice, and determination. Although these characteristics are not unique to sports, they are often most visible in this area. It’s so important that we teach our kids the value of hard work – regardless of the outcome.
When an opponent (challenge at work, hard times financially, fear of failure) is bigger, faster, stronger than us, we don’t run away. We be the person we’ve practiced to be and we approach it head on, to the best of our ability.
When I was a kid, I really wanted to dunk a basketball. Not just my 1-on-0 dunks by myself, but the ability to throw down in a game. I found this 3 month training that consisted of lunges, raises, jumps, squats, you name it. I completed every single day of the 3 month routine, even on days where it was the last thing I wanted to do. Unfortunately, 3 months later, I didn’t notice much of a difference in my vertical, but I still remember the pride I had in working so hard for something I wanted.
There is no greater feeling of accomplishment than putting all you have into something and seeing it through.
2. Teamwork
As great as individual achievements are, accomplishing something as a team is uniquely special. Teammates are there for each other through the highs and lows. What starts off as a season long relationship, can also form into lifelong bond. When I see my old teammates, no matter how far removed we are, we always have those memories. It could be old guys reliving the glory days, but I think it’s more than that – it’s a bond from a special time in your life where you both shared a common goal and were willing to put the other first for the common good of the team.
Being a good teammate is the first rule in our household when it comes to sports. Despite the scores, how many points someone put up, what they did on defense, etc. all of our attention turns to being a good sport and if we were a good teammate. This includes helping up other players, cheering for your teammates (even if you really, really, really don’t want to be on the bench and would rather not rotate) and not getting upset when the other team scores.
1. Always give your best
No matter what you do, do it to the best of your ability. It doesn’t matter if you sit in front of a computer all day, work construction, stay at home parent, etc. whatever you do, do it well.
Sports give kids a great venue to try their best. Remember that old saying about looking in the mirror after the game with no regrets? It’s true – the outcome has no impact on the level of effort you put into something. The reverse is not true. Sports provide immediate feedback, good or bad, on our effort. The effort can carry over beyond just physical abilities too – ever see a game change due to poor sportsmanship or lack of control? Always give your best.
One of my favorite memories to help illustrate this is from the 7th grade. One of my teammates who didn’t see a lot of playing time stole the ball and was on a fast break all by himself. Wide open. He dribbled from half court all the way down to the other end for a wide open lay up. His shot sailed over the backboard and out of bounds. The outcome was the other team got the ball and we missed out on 2 points. The important part was the effort…in his excitement and his desire to give his best, he put all he had into the ball and threw it over the backboard. He gave his best.
Added benefit – memories!
So as the season comes to an end and we look forward to next year (and college bball, Royals, Sporting, if only we had more sports!) I admit that I’m disappointed by the loss too – I thought this may have been the year. Mainly, I’m disappointed it’s over because of the fun our family had watching the games together.
I’ll remember the lesson my son learned about never giving up as the Chiefs opened the season with a 20 point comeback over the Chargers. I’ll remember the togetherness that sports can bring out when I think back to 3 families gathered at the automotive section of Walmart to listen to the victory over the Panthers. I’ll miss playing catch during commercials, watching my little footballer dive into the couch end zone yelling “Touchdown Kansas City”, and miss my better half and little munchkins dressed in their football gear.
A great season, with even better memories. As dad’s, these lessons and memories should be our focus, not the outcome of the game. Leave it all on the field.
